business leaders

June 26, 2015 by sereynolds

The Mirage of Success and the 3 Stages of Feeling Fulfillment

The following article appeared on Inc.com today as a part of my column, “Behind The Desk.” Look out for new columns every week!

You’re successful. You’ve read tons of books, read a ton of “best practice tips” articles online. You’ve scoured tradeshows and networking events. And all that time has finally paid off–your business is thriving, your clients are happy, and the future is bright.

But do you feel fulfilled?

The sideffect of success isn’t always happiness. Sometimes it’s anxiety, existential apathy, or even a sense of isolation.

I worked with a corporate vice president in the banking industry, and, on paper, she had it all: the salary, stock options, and security. Yet she felt vaguely dissatisfied, even bored, wondering if something better was out there. This is a fairly common occurrence for successful entrepreneurs and leaders.

Here are the three stages of finding fulfillment–the next time you feel deflated or discontent, despite the green numbers on the spreadsheet, do the following:

Stage 1: Mining for values. Mine your experience to find values; values are the cornerstone of fulfillment. Living in alignment with your values is crucial for harmony and fulfillment. Values include principles, standards, and qualities. They don’t include material goods or people.

Revisit good memories, dream up ideal scenarios, or recreate the imagery you saw when you envisioned a you-and-improved future. Go back to a time that was “just right.” Take notes, explore what it was about that time and those experience that make it a peak experience. Write all the elements, and reexamine the bigger picture.

Stage two: Defining your values. After you have your list of potential values, define them. Choose your top 5-10 values and describe what each one means–the significance they have for you, and how it looks and sounds in your life. Defining your values moves them from platitudes to personal priorities.

Write a sentence or two about each top priority means to you. Defining your values gives them specificity and clarity.

Stage three: Refining your values. After you’ve defined your values, refine them with a process of prioritization. It’s revealing to understand which “top” values truly matter the most.

Imagine you are starting over in a brand-new work environment. Looking at your draft list of values, as yourself: If you could only be certain of having one value honored, which one would it be? Test it. If you had to live a life where you could count only on this one value, could you survive? Would you want to? And if you could have two values? Three? Continue ranking your values in this manner until you’re satisfied you have them in priority order.

Ultimately, once you’ve completed these three stages you have collected the raw materials of a golden life. It’s up to you to build a life with them. By looking at the role your values play in helping you achieve fulfillment, you are already beginning to live your values, as coaches say. In living your goals, you’re connecting with yourself, truly allowing yourself to feel fulfilled, and opening yourself up for more success to come.

May 19, 2015 by sereynolds

Never Stop Learning: 3 Things We Can Learn From Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer

What stops growth in your business? Is it a down economy? Difficulty in recruiting top talent?

For many leaders, both in corporate settings and for entrepreneurs, what puts the brakes on growth isn’t an external factor or some new reality in the market. It’s the temptation to slow down and stop learning.

It’s may seem natural to slow down once you’ve gotten some experience under your belt. It’s tempting to rest on your laurels and enjoy the benefits of having arrived at a certain level of success. You know what you’re doing now. You know what works and what doesn’t. You can coast. That would be fine except for the fact that business growth and future success come from continuing to learn.

Recently I was sitting in a caf waiting to meet a consultant who wanted to help me with a business matter, and as I waited I read a new business book. The consultant found me and sat down, looked at the title and said, “Is that book any good? I used to read all those kinds of books.” The implication was that he doesn’t any more. His opportunity to work with me vanished before it had begun. Why would I want to work with someone who thought he knew it all and didn’t need to learn anything new?

So no matter how successful you may become, it’s important to keep on learning. What may change, however, is how you learn as you become more and more established in your career. The more advanced you get in your career, the more advanced your learning needs to be. Your old ways of learning don’t make as much sense as they used to. The leadership development programs you’ve taken no longer meet your needs, perhaps. The off-sites and self-study courses aren’t practical.

But just because your old ways of learning don’t fit you as well as they once did doesn’t mean you give up learning altogether–no matter how high up the ladder of success you climb. You need learning that’s innovative, forward-looking, extremely relevant, and usually in context. You need ways of learning that help you be effective in the moment and within a varied environment. That’s one reason executive coaching is so effective for successful leaders, and in fact is often why they seek out my help. What are some other ways top leaders keep up their learning? To find out, we can simply ask them.

A few years ago I interviewed Marissa Mayer, who echoed the same concern, and offered: learn from the people that inspire you. When I spoke with her, Mayer was still at Google, now she’s the president and CEO of Yahoo! and has been for nearly three years. She is also well-respected as one of Fortune‘s 50 Most Powerful Women. She is a perfect example of a CEO who continues to reflect, learn and evolve.

Mayer told me: “One of the most interesting and best parts for me in my role is [that] I learn new things in every meeting. I’m always learning about my leadership style and about new domains. You have to always be learning. Having a position that has a purpose and is one of constant learning.”

By continuing to pursue new ways of learning, Mayer stays on the cutting edge, avoids becoming outdated, and is always aware of newly emerging trends.

So how can we follow Mayer’s lead and keep learning?

Learn from the people who inspire you. When I spoke with her, Mayer told me excitedly about people she’s met, read about, studied and admired, and even worked with–women from fashion designers Tory Birch and Diana Von Furstenberg to former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright to editor of Cosmo, Kate White, to fellow high-tech executive Sheryl Sandberg, the COO at Facebook. They’re still learning but they’re learning from their peers and people they admire. Find people who are relevant and current, but still inspire you even when you have achieved a high level of leadership yourself.

Executive coaching. The thing about coaching that makes it so valuable for senior-level leaders is that it’s entirely customized. It’s intended to help you be effective moment-to-moment, working toward your vision and capitalizing on your strengths. If you don’t have time to take an online course or attend a retreat, coaches are always available and give you the one-on-one time that is crucial for designing personal strategies to apply learning into your working environment.

Learn from your mistakes. Mayer said she learned from launching new programs and innovations that still had bugs, such as the initial launch of Google news, which allowed her to perfect the program through re-invention and making small tweaks. Mayer said that many of Google’s most successful features were done this way, to “get the product out there and have the users tell us where it was most important to spend our time.” That allowed her and her team at Google to learn from mistakes and ultimately make the product better through trial and error. You can take the same approach. Try things out, allow yourself to make mistakes, but remember to seek the feedback on your efforts, and reflect on what you hear. Take the time to process and dissect the root cause of the problem that led to the mistake, look at the consequences and understand the situation well enough to both formulate strategies to avoid it for the future and lay a better groundwork in place. Find the balance of awareness and action. Reflection and results.

Once you’ve done the above three strategies, take a page out of Mayer’s book and reach out to your senior-level leader peer network. Ask: what are you reading right now? What ought you to be reading every day? How can you learn more about your leadership style be watching others? What can you learn from them? We can all learn from Mayer and her three strategies for growth at any level.

May 1, 2015 by sereynolds

5 Signs of Burnout, and Tricks to Break Free

The following article appeared on Inc.com today as a part of my column, “Behind The Desk.” Look out for new columns every week!

Feeling burned out? Think you may have hit a low point? You’re in good company. The pace of change these days is exhausting, and it’s not uncommon to hit a lull when the stress finally takes its toll.

Knowing the signs of burnout can help you get your groove back. With just a little proactive self-assessment, you can turn things around and get back to your happy place, where you’re more motivated and enthusiastic about your work.

Recently I spent several months coaching a leader at a highly ambitious company–one where expectations are high, and failure is not an option. The intensity, long hours, pressure, and accountability all make this hard-charging, highly visible company a challenging place to work. They’re doing exciting work and people want to be a part of it, but it’s hard to sustain the energy that such a culture demands.

This particular leader, whom we’ll call Evan Stevens, was a director in IT. Within 10 minutes of our very first coaching session, tears were springing to his eyes. Finally given the opportunity to speak about his working life, he opened up about his discouragement and fatigue. Evan was working 13-14 hours a day, as well as receiving phone calls from work at night. He was starting to worry about his family life. Evan was completely burned out. He was seen as a high performer, a high producer, well respected leader, well regarded contributor, and he got lots of positive feedback for his work. Yet he felt discouraged, defeated, unappreciated and undervalued from the company around him.

You may or may not be in a situation as extreme as Evan’s, but many people I have met over the years are very close.

How do you recognize the signs of burnout? How do know if you’re just going through a phase, or if it’s time for a more serious change?

For many people, the best case scenario is to find a way to stay at your current company, while finding a way back to meaning and fulfilment. It is possible–I’ve seen it many times. Even if you’re burned out now, you may find it possible to work happily at your company, giving your best, enjoying yourself, putting in extra hours if you need to, while also finding a way to be fulfilled, appreciated, valued and enjoying your work. Now that’s a good life.

So what are the signs of burnout? The following signs came out of my work with Evan:

You give up easily. Evan said, “I feel like I am giving up.” He noticed in himself a sense of defeat. That sense of defeat can show up even before tackling a project. You feel like giving up, because you don’t have the motivation to follow through with initiatives. They suddenly seem daunting.

You blame others. The blame could be in regards to the atmosphere of the work place, or the quality of work being done. If you catch yourself blaming others, ask yourself where the basis for the blame is really coming from. If it’s from a place of exhaustion or doubt, you might be facing burnout.

Time passes slowly, even when you have a lot to do. “I can tell that I am burning out when the day seems long and dragging and I can’t wait to get home,” Evan told me. Burnout feels slow and slogging.

Your confidence is down. You’ll know you may be burning out if you used to tackle projects with excitement and focus, but now you question your abilities to finish the task at hand and finish it well. You notice may hesitate to get involved even in projects or discussions where you have something to add.

It’s hard to define success. Burnout can make it hard to see hope. Evan told me: “I’ve stopped seeing my own successes. Other people are not seeing my successes, and I am not seeing my successes either.”

Compared to those signs of burnout, after Evan was able to break free from this phase, he told me: “I accomplish more, I see my successes, I am contributing, I know I am a valuable part of the organization. Even if I am not getting the recognition that I want from my managers or my senior management, I look other places for my own value. I look to my team and how am I responding for them. I care more about what my manager says, but it’s also true that her approval is not where I get my self-worth from. I find ways to cheer myself up.”

How do you get from the signs and symptoms of burnout to a better place as Evan did?

First, take a step back and refocus. Get away. That means getting away from work without the phone, without the email, without feeling guilty, and just having to trust that you won’t be letting coworkers down if you take a few hours (or days) to collect your thoughts. Then reflect on the situation with a fresh perspective. Ask yourself: What can I do to turn this around? What can I control, and what can I not control, and how do I move forward?

It may seem impossible to get away and clear your thoughts, especially if it’s overwork or overwhelm that’s causing the burnout. Do it anyway. A clear mind is essential to finding solutions. After you’ve had some think time, treat yourself to a little extra time to rest, recover, catch up with the home stuff, clear the space and come back to work refreshed.

Second, think about how to redesign your work life so you can sustain that sense of stability longer term. For example, Evan did take a two week rest-recover-and-reflect vacation, but he also made a commitment when he came back to reducing his schedule to reliable10-hour days. He made plans to get away with his family at least one evening or weekend day a week and left the phone behind.

Third, reinforce your commitments by booking activities that refresh you and you know you won’t skip. Evan made a promise to his daughters that he would read them a story every single night–a promise that meant he couldn’t hole up in his office late at night.

Life in business today can be extremely intense and busy, and burnout is an issue (if not an epidemic). You are far too valuable to be swept away by stress and overwhelm. Become aware of the signs and symptoms, and acknowledge when you’re starting to feel burnt out, so you can take control and make a positive change.

April 21, 2015 by sereynolds

5 Ways to Lead in Challenging Times

The following article appeared on Inc.com today as a part of my column, “Behind The Desk.” Look out for new columns every week!

What do leaders do when their stock price has dropped 75 percent and it’s their job to get it back up? What should leaders think when the thrilling vision they had for the future has been clouded by economic uncertainty? How do leaders get inspired when their employees are dejected, worried, and distracted–and let’s face it, on some level so are they?

Wait–don’t answer that. You can’t.

Because no matter how much you know about leadership, regardless of what the research says or what best practice implies, there’s only one way to find the right answers to these questions. Leaders need to find them for themselves.

In a time of unprecedented challenge, leaders don’t just need to lead their companies. They also need to lead themselves. They need strategies for improving their effectiveness while sustaining a sense of professional well-being. Every one of us has an internal source of strength and stability. Without care and consideration these renewable resources are seriously at risk.

In order to survive and thrive, leaders can’t just go about business as usual. Business isn’t “usual” anymore. It’s undergoing a seismic shift. Leaders need to get their footing in a shaky reality and learn to embrace the possibilities ahead.

So how does a leader actually practice personal leadership? What do they need to do? It looks like this:

Take time to think. Leaders need to step out of the daily rush and think about what they’re doing and why. Doing so, they will find the clarity and focus they need to get back into the action in the most effective way.

Look inside. Instead of being driven by the demanding urgencies, leaders can discover their inner resources–their strengths, their values, and their aspirations. Take for example, the leadership practice of visioning. Visioning is so vital that it is practically the prerequisite Chapter One in any book on the subject of leadership. Leaders of all kinds must have a clear vision to succeed. They need to know where their organization is going and why, and they need to communicate that vision clearly at all levels inside the organization and out.

But on a more personal level, leaders must also have a vision for themselves. At the level of the leader, visioning becomes something different than that longstanding vision that has to stand the test of time. It becomes something more fluid, more intuitive, and more flexible. It is a vision that changes as they change, but with consistent themes over time. The goal is not for a leader to establish one clear and permanent vision but to learn the skill of getting clarity about their vision again and again. For example, take an operations executive in a global medical equipment firm who had gotten overwhelmed by the pace of change in his company, which was growing exponentially, and his personal life, in which he was supporting aging parents. He had begun to be plagued with the big existential questions, like, “What am I doing?” and “What’s it all for?” By using visioning techniques as a way of finding clarity, he was able to discern what he wanted for himself as a leader, a son, an aspirational executive, and a person. As his circumstances continued to change, he learned to reconnect with clarity about his own personal vision–one that helped him to both be a better leader and lead a better life.

Rethink time and teams. The efficiencies of personal leadership come from a paradigm of abundance. Leaders need to recognize the wealth of resources available to them when they maximize their time and use the supportive people in their lives to help them achieve.

Work with a coach or mentor. Personal leadership is supported by a partner who can pose thoughtful questions, make observations, and help leaders learn to see new possibilities.

Look for ways to align and integrate one’s life. We are who we are wherever we are. The closer leaders can tie their true selves to their leadership roles, and in turn their leadership roles and their lives, the happier and healthier they will be–on all fronts.

Is it easy? Not necessarily. Introspection can be hard work. Is it worth it? Ask yourself: What would change for leaders if they had an inner resource to help them maintain stability and security within themselves when the world outside seems so unsound?

Successful leaders know that answer. Here are a few words from leaders who value the personal side of leadership:

“Leadership is personal. Management is personal. There’s something very powerful about bringing your whole self to work.” -Sheryl Sandberg, COO, Facebook

“If you can get your talents and passions to align with the organizational need, you’re really in a position when you can maximize contribution to company and achieve your career best.” -David Kilby, Director of Intel University, Intel

“As leaders it’s time to dig deep personally. There are a lot of people out there that are frozen. It’s a time to create a new future, and we can’t do it if we can’t think clearly.” -Lisa Weber, President, Individual Business, MetLife

When you practice personal leadership, you can take the practices of leadership more generally and apply them to oneself. As a result, both you and your team will flourish, even in challenging times.

January 28, 2015 by sereynolds

The Top Learning Strategy Used By Leading Fortune 500 Companies

The following article appeared on Inc.com today as a part of my column, “Behind The Desk.” Look out for new columns every week!

Often in the beginning of the year we’re energized to learn new things. As an entrepreneur you have many opportunities to do this, like attending workshops or conferences.

But the strategy that I find the most effective, which you can do inside or outside a workshop or conference, is to create what I call a “mastermind.”

A mastermind is a group of approximately three to five people supporting each other in their learning. The group offers support, helps keep other members accountable, and keeps the momentum going to help build upon lessons learned or projects underway.

Think about your biggest challenge. Now imagine that today you have two or three other people dedicated to helping you work it out. They listen to your questions, they offer advice, and they help you find solutions. Then, when their problem is resolved, you turn and listen to theirs. This is the essence of a mastermind.

If all you do is attend an event or read a book, you won’t get the mileage you could if you set up a group of people who want to learn this with you and put it into practice. Set up your own mastermind to follow through. The more you follow-up on your learning, the more in-depth your learning is.

Based on a study by Edgar Dale, we remember:

10 percent of what we read
20 percent of what we hear
30 percent of what we see
50 percent of what we see and hear
70 percent of what we discuss with others
80 percent of what we personally experience
95 percent of what we teach others.

Since masterminds are all about discussing with others, cultivating our own personal experience with the subject matter, and teaching others, the information has a better chance of being applied and built upon.

I have set up leadership development programs for companies like Adobe, MetLife and Microsoft, and while many of these programs have traditional components, the mastermind strategy is the one that can accelerate your learning past the program.

Whether it’s part of your professional development learning or an independent project, you can set up a mastermind group for yourself.

First, identify two or three people from whom you get energy from and who you think you can learn from, either at your level or above.

Ask if they’re interested in setting up a meeting once a month, whether it be a phone call or in person.

For example, three saleswomen from around the world might get on the phone once a month and discuss how they’re tracking their numbers, which will keep them accountable for their tracking, and then they can discuss how they can attain their goals.

After you have set up logistics, set a regular agenda. For example, establish that once a month for two hours each person will have 40 minutes-each. Or, a mastermind can be held once a week for an hour, each person receives about 20 minutes. Another option is to set up a mastermind every other week for one hour, giving each person 10 minutes and saving time for a group discussion.

To get the most out of your meeting, acknowledge some of the hurdles you’re facing. You might have masterminds that last for just a few sessions, or you might have some that last 10 years. You get an edge if you keep focused and keep learning.

July 15, 2014 by sereynolds

3 Ways to Extend Your Inspiration to the Rest of Your Team and Employees

As someone who has been practicing personal leadership for a while, you have become extremely engaged – which is excellent, because both you and your organization are benefitting from the results! So how do you extend that inspiration to the rest of your team and employees? To help others get there too, you can encourage them to do exactly what you’ve done.

The following are three tips to help you spread your inspiration:

Start a book group. Learn the practices of personal leadership one at a time. Every month, you have read a chapter from The Inner Edge and focused on a specific exercise to improve your leadership results. Could you host a lunchtime book club and invite others to read a chapter with you?

Love your most valuable leaders. Think about how you’re attending to the best leaders around you – the ones who contribute to your success and that of the organization. Are you taking their dedication for granted, or might they deserve more time and attention? Many organizations are using The Inner Edge as a basis for unique leadership development programs designed for their most powerful leaders. Can you do the same?

Spread the news. You know that self-awareness and inner passion to achieve are ingredients vital for successful leaders, and the research backs it up. But personal leadership – the behind-the-scenes work leaders do to advance and excel – is often hidden. Can you be more open about your reflection? Can you share more about your efforts to improve and inspire yourself, so that other get ideas about how they can get motivated too?

However you choose to extend the inspiration you’ve taken from The Inner Edge, you’re asking the right question! Leadership is about leading others toward a positive vision. Personal leadership will help you all get there together.

July 7, 2014 by sereynolds

Leading on the Edge: A Quick “How To”

When it comes to leading on the edge, first ask yourself: What kind of a gift do you want to be?

At first blush, personal leadership may seem self-serving. After all, aren’t we supposed to be serving the organization? Isn’t our role to lead everyone else?

Well, yes and no. Certainly the most emphasized aspects of leadership tend to be external – as in leading a company, leading an project, or leading a team. But personal leadership is another aspect to leadership that is equally important. Again, it’s about leading the self, which is the source of a leader’s success.

First, let’s take a look at what personal leadership is: Personal leadership is ability to define a direction for your life and leadership, and to move in that direction with consistency and clarity over time. In a positive, unselfish way, personal leadership means putting yourself first. Literally speaking, personal means “about you;” leadership means “coming first.” When you practice personal leadership, you “lead from the ‘inside out.” The process involves asking yourself, “How do Ineed to be and act and think in order to be my best?” – a kind of self-driven style well-suited to dedicated leaders who will carry business into the future.

When it comes to efficiently leading others, leading ourselves is critical – just look at the effects of neglecting the leader behind the work. Employee depletion, disengagement, and attrition cost the business world dearly. As Gallup researchers Rath and Clifton report,

This rampant negativity is not only disheartening, it’s expensive: It costs the U.S. economy between $250 and $300 billion every year in lost productivity alone. When you add workplace injury, illness, turnover, absences, and fraud, the cost could surpass $1 trillion per year, or nearly 10% of the U.S. Gross Domestic Product (GDP). These costs are not specific to the United States; they exist to varying degrees in every country, industry, and organization we have studied.

As reported by the American Society for Training and Development, “The cost of replacing a senior executive averages about five times his or her annual salary” For economic reasons alone, organizations have a vested interest in encouraging the aspects of leadership that sustain and support the leaders themselves.

Of course, that’s only part of the picture. Personal leadership doesn’t just save companies money. It taps into that part of the human soul that longs to add meaning to life. As Stephen Covey writes, “Deep within each one of us there is an inner longing to live a life of greatness and contribution – to really matter, to really make a difference.”

As a leader you have many gifts to offer, and the real gift you have to give is yourself. What kind of a gift do you want to be?

By practicing personal leadership, you will discover what’s truly possible for yourself as a leader. Suddenly “leadership” won’t be just part of your job. It will become a way of life.

June 30, 2014 by sereynolds

Best of the Blog: June Edition

As I resume blogging again I want to move forward with a new initiative: a “Best of the Blog” round-up for each month. Putting a practice from The Inner Edge to good use, it is my hope that the monthly round-up will help you embody the eigth practice I outline – to keep learning! We’re often so innundated with information that it becomes difficult to absorb the information we read in any given day, or even week or month.

Jack Welch said: “Good leaders are, by definition, voracious learners.”

So in the spirit of learning and leading, read on for five key takeaways from the blog over the last few months:

How to lead from within. From the post “5 Practices for Leading from Within,” I shared five practices from The Inner Edge that you can use to lead well and live well, too. In short, the practices are to help leaders find clarity to determine what both short-term and long-term success looks like; to find focus in order to keep your attention on the action items that are top priority when it comes to achieving that success; to take effective action so that you can determine what action items are best to tackle in a day instead of spinning your wheels all day; to tap into your own brilliance in order to not only find out what your unique strengths are, but to find out what practices will bring out those strengths; and to feel fulfillment in a way that enriches your life, and allows you to discover and take responsibility for your own gifts.

What is your identity as a leader? In “Identification, Please?” I list many types of leaders, and ask you to be honest with yourself to identity what you can take away from each type. The types include: A business or corporate leader, a professional leader, a community leader, a family leader, an inspiration leader, a thought leader, an action leader, and the leader of your own life. What makes you powerful is developing the image of who you want to be as a leader. The leadership types will help you to sharpen your focus to find out which type of leader you are, and the leader you want to become.

Find out what “the secret wish” is. One of my favorite questions to ask clients is: “What is your secret wish?” In the post “The Secret Wish,” I share an exercise to help you find out exactly what your secret wish is. Simply open a spare notebook, turn the page and reflect. Anything is possible. Think about it. Write about it. Dream. Some wishes are easier to grant than others. Simply stating that wish can be enough to help you hone in on what you need to do to make it a reality, even within the same day. Others can take several years to come true, and some never do. But more often than not, just saying the words aloud makes them come alive.

How to have it all by defining your “all.” In “Having It All” I expose one of the surefire ways to have it all: find out what your “all” is! So many people ask if it’s possible to have it all. Some people say yes, some people say no. To me, it’s the wrong question altogether. To me, the answer to the question, “Is it possible to have it all?” is not yes or no. It’s simply: “Do you know what your ‘all’ is?” If you can clearly define your “all” in a way that is grounded, realistic, and optimistic, most likely you can have it. If you define your “all” as some unattainable ideal that amounts to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, then you might not. In the post I lead with an exercise to help you define your “all.”

Open up to the spirit of possibility. In “The Spirit of Possibility” I help you channel your own potential and infinite possibility. The only way to know what those are is to trust in more intuitive ways of knowing, being and becoming who you want to be – not just by working your life away, but by learning to wish, hope, think, pray, and be in a different kind of way. Author William Bloom, a meditation master and expert in the field of holistic development, offers a helpful definition of spirituality as “that whole reality and dimension which is bigger, more creative, more loving, more powerful, more visionary, more wise, more mysterious – than materialistic daily human existence.”

Leaders are busy, and usually the way we read when we’re busy is the first time we skim, the second time we form an opinion, and the third time we really take in what we read. Let this round-up be your quick guide to learning, and leading, well as we move into July!

You can connect with Joelle on Twitter and Facebook.

February 28, 2012 by Joelle Jay

Let Them Hit You

When you go looking for feedback, do you get feedback from the people who will give you the bad news?

Go ahead. Let them hit you.

Don’t worry – it’s not as bad as you think. Actually, one of the smartest things we can do is to ask for feedback from the people who don’t think all that much of us. The ones who are mad at us. Who are thorns in our side.

It’s not just because you’re going to get an enlightening perspective. (And oh, you will!) It’s also because the simple act of asking for feedback can improve the relationship.

Says Dave Norton, a senior vice president at The New York Times,

It’s so disarming. When you turn around and ask feedback from the people who wreck havoc in your world, it facilitates dialogue. It’s hard to be mad at someone who’s genuinely asking you for your opinion. Just the act of asking communicates trust.

When you go to look for feedback, ask yourself, who around me will give me the best feedback? Who will give me the worst? Who will give me a perspective I’ve probably never heard before?

Then go ask them. Easiest way: ask three questions.

What am I doing that’s working?
What am I doing that’s not working?
What one thing do you think I should work on to improve?

You may find those enemies were on your side all along.

Did you enjoy this profile? You may be interested in the eCourse, Getting an Edge: 21 Ways World Class Leaders Share Their Secrets for Leading and Living Well. Each of 21 profiles just like this one comes in a separate email – once a day for 21 days. Click here for more information.

February 14, 2012 by Joelle Jay

A 360-Degree View of You

When was the last time you looked in the mirror? What were you hoping to see? Did the mirror show you how you’re showing up as a leader? As a mother or father? As a role model?

The mirror is a good metaphor for what we need as leaders to understand how we’re showing up, and what might need to change for us to be the people on the outside that we so want to be on the inside.

Think about this. When it comes to your appearance, you can get a sense of yourself with a small hand mirror. But you’ll see more with a full-length mirror, and even more with a three-sided department store mirror. Even then, there are still some things a mirror can’t tell you: the overall impression you make when you walk into a room, the way your presence makes people feel, and how you look when you walk around. For these, you need other sources of input.

Just so with the way you show up as a leader. You can get some information on your own, just through reflection and self-assessment. But the more strategies you use to find out about yourself, the more complete your view will be. A variety of strategies will help you flesh out your view.

You can reveal some things about yourself by asking open-ended questions.

Where are you especially talented?
What do you love to do?
What do you do without even thinking?
What do people count on you for?
In your social life, what role do you play?
At work, what are you recognized for?
Given the freedom to do things your way, how do you do them?

To find out more about the rest of you, ask:

What activities would you gladly never have to do again?
What do you wish you could pass on to someone else?
When do you feel dragged down?
What do you dread?
When do you procrastinate?

As a coach, I deeply respect the insight leaders have into their own answers, and the knowledge you discover from these questions is invaluable. But it’s not enough.
To really get a sense of what you’re like, you also need some outside opinions. Here are some ideas.

Ask your friends, family and coworkers what they notice about you. How would they describe you? Get the positive and negative take. You’ll learn more about how you strike other people and discover more about what makes you brilliant.

Take profiles, assessments, and research-based quizzes to reveal your attributes. Each assessment will yield different information.

More customized and personal than most assessments, a 360-degree profile is a survey you conduct to get feedback on your effectiveness from the people “all around you” (hence the name). Traditionally, the survey is developed by a third party – say, a coach, consultant or research group – then distributed to a group of people who know you well enough to give you input.

How to get great feedback you can use to improve your effectiveness is the topic of just one of the information-rich chapters in the book, The Inner Edge: The 10 Practices of Personal Leadership. To learn more, go to www.TheInnerEdge.com. You’ll find an overview of the book, endorsements by such thought leaders as Marshall Goldsmith and Stephen Covey, and more!

When you take the steps to get good quality feedback, you’ll make the positive changes you need to make in order to like the leader you see in the mirror.