Joelle K. Jay

Leadership Concepts

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How To Organize Your Life, Do Less and Have More Time

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Many of us have an action plan, or to-do list, to keep ourselves organized – at the beginning of the day we write down everything that we have to do, and then the day is filled with the victorious crossing off of items from the list. But what happens when you get to the end of the day, and too often there are lot of things left?

We’re left with a feeling like the work is never done, but perhaps the problem isn’t so much that there’s so much that needs to get done, but the fact that we’re putting everything on one long to-do list.

You can actually organize your thinking, and organize your time, just by changing your to-do list.

Having a detailed daily action plan can help you stay focused – it’s called the catalyst. In science, a catalyst is a substance that increases the rate of a chemical reaction without being consumed in the process. For you, your catalyst is an action that dramatically increases the rate at which you achieve your vision without it consuming you.

The CATA-list action plan is divided into 4 categories:

  • Catalysts
  • Achievements
  • Tasks
  • Avoidances

The catalyst: To find your catalyst, ask yourself: What is the one thing I can do that will have the greatest impact on my vision? The guiding principle for your catalyst is that you know this one item would do the most to get you to your goal. For example, let’s say you’re trying to lose 50 pounds. A catalyst might be to go running, or give up sugar. Your catalyst is that one thing that’s most important for you to do to manifest your desired outcome.

Achievements: These are the actions you classify as highly important. They might not have the transformational effect of your one catalyst, but they’re the achievements that matter on a day-to-day basis. It’s your daily actions, priorities, projects and deadlines.

Tasks: This category is for the actions you like to take, but can’t justify as truly critical, at least not in terms of your priorities and goals. Tasks are typically big time consumers. These are the long meetings that need to be scheduled, networking events, or maybe they’re things you like to do only after the more valuable action items are taken care of.

Avoidances: These are the actions that have actually very little return. Often times, scrolling through social media feeds falls into this category. Surfing through our emails, unuseful conversations are avoidances that actually take up the time we need for more important priorities in our lives. By creating a catalyst you have organized now your to-do list in an efficient way in an organized order of value for your time.

By creating a catalyst you have an organized your list of action items in an efficient way, and in an organized order of value for your time. When you see your catalyst through, you free yourself of the daily to-do list, and organize your list of action items according to your priorities – and, ultimately, achieve your vision.

For more resources on time management, work-life balance and other leadership coaching materials, see Joelle’s recent books and articles, and resources for women leaders.

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Why You Need To Stop Over-apologizing In The Workplace

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  • “I’m sorry I’m late!” 
  • “I’m so sorry to ask you for this.”
  • “I’m sorry I’m not as prepared as I would like to be.”

How many times have you started a sentence with an apology?

For some people, it’s multiple times a day – often without even noticing. Unconsciously, those of us who over-apologize can be weakening our power. Becoming more aware of what for many has simply become a habit can help them gain a more influential communication style, a stronger executive presence, and more respect from the people around us.

Now, let’s acknowledge that a sincere apology holds a special place in our relationships. And even the off-handed “so sorry” (“Sorry to interrupt – I know you’re busy!”) is often merely intended to be polite and kind. But it doesn’t always work in a business setting.

Often I will hear a leader says something like this to a team member:

“I am so sorry to ask you this, but we really need someone to take on this project, and it’s a big one. It might be kind of a challenge, but we really need to impress this client.”

The intent of the leader here may be to connect personally. The leader means, “I know you weren’t expecting this, but I trust you, and you’re the best person for this job.” But the impact may not be what s/he wanted professionally. The team member hears, “She’s apologizing; she doesn’t feel strongly about this and in fact may feel guilty. I’m going to push back on this.” In a business setting, apologizing as a form of communication can come across differently than it may between friends.

Believe it or not, through no intention of your own, starting an ask with an apology may sound insecure, not very convincing, and even a little whiny, and ultimately you’re not going to get the “yes” you’re looking for.

There are three elements of that communication style that are a problem.

  1. The apology itself. In a business setting, “I’m sorry” can immediately put you into a smaller role, suggesting you have done something wrong that you have to apologize for. More often than not, you do not have anything to apologize for, so choose another approach. Raise your awareness of the overuse of the phrase even for one day and you’ll feel the difference!
  2. The explanation. Whatever follows an unnecessary apology invariably is diminished by the apology itself. “I’m sorry, I really would have liked to get this into better shape for you before sharing it” emphasizes that what you’re delivering isn’t very good. Try owning the deliverable just as it is, knowing that it – and you – are fine and valuable as is.
  3. The implication. Between the apology and the explanation lies one more problem: the emotional tone. When you apologize unnecessarily, others get the sense that you think they feel bad, and/or that you feel bad, and so the feeling is…bad.

Let’s see what happens if we rephrase the apology above, ridding ourselves of this apologetic baggage. How about if instead of saying this:

“I am so sorry to ask you this, but we really need someone to take on this project, and it’s a big one. It might be kind of a challenge, but we really need to impress this client.”

…our team leader instead said this?

“Would you please lead our next project? We really need to impress our client, and you have the right skills and talent to do is.”

Now s/he is asking directly, with courage and self-confidence, for something of importance from someone she respects. The apology is gone, the explanation is clear, and the implication is that the leader expects the best – a delivery that leaves the leader and the team member feeling powerful and ready to succeed.

Again, please don’t misunderstand me – many a sincere apology has healed a relationship and righted a wrong, and it should be a valuable communication tool in the right setting. Just save those apologies for when you need them.

In the meantime, without the unconscious or unnecessary apologies…you’ll be communicating like the leader you are.For more ways to improve your power as a leader, and create new advantages for yourself and your company, see Joelle’s book: The New Advantage.

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Break Through the Bias: Raising Awareness of Gender Bias in your Organization

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With the #MeToo movement sweeping the nation, women are exposing a daily reality that until now has been either hidden or ignored: Women are affected by bias at every level of an organization. They may not always recognize it, address it or respond to it appropriately, and they can be stopped by it and feel powerless to change it. So they are impacted, sometimes in very serious ways.

As a result, in addition to the psychological reactions to sexual harassment (depression, anxiety, anger, powerlessness, guilt) and the physiological reactions (headaches, sleep disturbances, nightmares), the career-related effects can halt the ability to succeed. They include:

  • Decreased job satisfaction
  • Unfavorable performance evaluations
  • Loss of job or promotion
  • Drop in performance due to stress
  • Absenteeism
  • Withdrawal from work
  • Change in career goals.

It’s not just women who are affected. Their companies are hurt, too.

In addition to the ethical responsibility of addressing discrimination and protecting employees from harm, corporate leaders have every reason to ensure bias doesn’t hurt the business.

Discrimination has been shown to contribute to:

  • poor communication between staff,
  • faulty decision-making,
  • reduced productivity,
  • decreased organizational citizenship behavior,
  • reduced employee commitment,
  • depleted motivation, and
  • increased turnover.

Considering all of the above, not to mention the billions of dollars companies invest in leadership programs and initiatives for women, the cost of allowing discrimination to continue is too high a price to pay. When it comes to fighting discrimination, women can’t do this alone. Men need to champion women, too.

Companies and their leaders can learn to identify and address bias in their leaders, employees, systems, policies, processes, practices and culture. Whether we’re talking about institutionalized bias, paternalistic discrimination, or plain old bad behavior, a little education goes a long way – and so does a culture of intolerance. Companies that address this well develop a reputation internally and/or externally for being a great place for women to work. Meanwhile, for women, the awareness advantage is the ability to be able to prevent bias if we can or handle it when we can’t.

One primary reason people don’t address bias is because they’re not conscious of it. The other reason people don’t address bias is that they don’t know how. For best practices on how to achieve awareness, and how women can advance themselves and become better leaders, working with men to eliminate gender bias, get your free Executive Summary of my book with Howard Morgan, The New Advantage: How Women in Leadership Can Create Win-Wins for Their Companies and Themselves.

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The Key To Purposeful Networking

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I recently attended the Silicon Valley Business Journal’s 10th Annual Women of Influence event – an evening I was excited about and pleased to be a part of. When one of my clients asked me where I was going that evening, I heard myself saying I “had a networking event.” She groaned and rolled her eyes. It startled me, because her reaction was so counter to how I felt: enthusiastic and inspired. It caused me to rethink the word “networking” and our associations with it – something we may all want to do if we value relationships as an important part of leadership.

Networking has developed a negative connotation, but for leaders who want to be active, engaged and advancing in their careers, it’s worth understanding how it can be viewed as not just essential, but exiting.

First let’s explore why networking has become problematic. Many people see it as too transactional. Others find it to be a waste of time, boring, time consuming, or overly political.

But networking is also a doorway to new relationships, new opportunities, and endless possibilities. So, how do leaders make better use of networking to make sure it’s time well spent?

First, we’ll need to change our perspective. One way to do that is to redefine networking. You might even give it a new name – one that appeals to you and motivates you. For instance, above I used the shortcut explanation to my client that I “had a networking event,” but that’s not how I viewed the evening at all. I saw it as an opportunity to meet people I enjoyed working with in person, spend time with them, and celebrate the successful leaders at being honored at the event. I could have shared that instead. It would have been more accurate than offhandedly calling it “networking.” You might experiment with eliminating the term “networking” and replacing it with something you’re enthusiastic about – like spending the evening with like-minded people, building new relationships, or learning new things in your industry.

Second, we can breathe new life into networking by setting the right goals. Consciously, or unconsciously, many people go into networking with the wrong goals: rubbing elbows, boosting their ego, or being seen. No wonder when they think “networking” they roll their eyes. Instead, try going into networking situations with goals revolving around finding people who help you become more effective and proactive, and understanding more about the opportunities around you so that you can be more impactful and successful. Ultimately, the goals of networking have to be aligned to a purpose you find valuable to be effective.

When you go change your perspective about networking and choose the activities that move you forward, onward and upward, you may find yourself no longer rolling your eyes, but rushing instead to build new relationships and advance your career.

For more networking tips for leaders, see my resources and latest book, The New Advantage: How Women in Leadership Can Create Win-Wins for Their Companies and Themselves.

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Join the Leading Network (Yours!)

To get an edge – any edge, as a leader, in your life, on the competition, against your old limitations, toward your new self – you don’t have to go it alone.

In fact, you shouldn’t go it alone. You can do so much more with a team.

Call it a Mastermind, your “Dream Team,” an Imaginary Advisory Board, or just a good group of friends and associates, you will all go further faster when you support each other in your goals.

I’m not talking about doing the work, now (although a team is good for that, too). I’m talking about supporting each other in achieving your goals.

Here’s how Cheryl Scott, the former CEO of Group Health Cooperative, and now the Senior Advisor of Global Health at the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation, describes the experience.

“I joined a network of other Chief Operating Officers. We talked about what it was like to be a COO and be the #2. In this network, we started to explore our own personal leadership and personal mastery. It was transformational to me. I had never taken the time to think about it before that. When you’re in your 30s and early 40s, your career means a lot but it’s not necessarily about your own values and how to “leap from where you stand.” In two years of working with [my network], as we worked with great coaches and listened to Peter Drucker and read Peter Senge, it transformed the way I felt about my work. I started to think more purposefully about what I was about, what I brought, why I did what I did and how it connected to [my company] at the time. It really changed a how I thought about leadership. It became more personal.”

You can create your own network by asking yourself a few questions.

• Who do you admire?

• Who inspires you?

• How do you think they can support you?

• How can you support them?

• If you could get these people into a room all at one time and ask them the single most important question you have, how would that help you?

You now have your personal support team. All you need to do is invite them in.

Are you ready to start a Mastermind of your own but aren’t sure how? Join an Executive Mastermind! This unique opportunity is available right now (Deadline: Thursday, April 17! – and leaders are already opting in. Please click here for more information or email Joelle personally at Joelle.Jay@LRI.com for more information.

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Time for a Change

How many times a day do you think to yourself, “I just I had more time!” We all know we only have the time we’ve been given on this earth to do with what we will, and yet we spend most of our time wishing it were otherwise.

We need to learn to think differently about time.

It’s not as if we haven’t been trying. Time management courses have been around for decades, and work/life balance has become a cliché. e talk and talk about new ways to manage time, do things faster, tinker with our calendars and apply technology to squeeze more into a twenty-four-hour day.

But it’s not working. We’re busier than ever, and it seems to be getting worse. High standards, coupled with an uncompromising work ethic, demanding bosses, business growth, job promotions, new technology, day-to-day operations, future planning, business travel, innovation, competition, family obligations, and the details of daily life all combine to create the kind of pressure that, as one leader put it, makes it hard to breathe. All of us who suffer a scarcity of time must learn to be more effective in our use of time or risk becoming victims of our own success.

The fact is, you will never have control of your time unless you take control of your time. That means stopping long enough to get a handle on what’s happening, reflecting on whether it’s working, and learning new ways to maximize the time you’ve got. Rethinking your relationship to time takes an open mind, it takes commitment, and (ironically) it takes time. But the investment you make in maximizing your time will pay you back hour after precious hour.
Are you ready to start Maximizing Your Time? Here’s a place to start.
Get a blank sheet of paper and map out Your Ideal Day. What would it look like if you had all the time you need?
Doing this exercise can be the first step in redesigning your time and your life so you do have more time for the things that are important in your life. But don’t stop there. You can design your Ideal Week, your Ideal Month, and even your Ideal Year. Here’s why it works. If you can see the model on paper, you are going to be able to create it in reality.

To make this easy for you, I’ve created a one-page form you can use to map out your Ideal Day. It’s absolutely free, and it’s available on www.TheInnerEdge.com. Click on Worksheets and Audios on the left and scroll down to find The Ideal Day.

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Extend Trust

Of all my mentors, one who springs to mind in surprising moments is Stephen M.R. Covey, the author of the bestselling book The Speed of Trust.

Stephen believes that trust is the underlying foundation of every relationship, including the relationship you have with yourself. It’s time now to make a commitment you can trust yourself to keep.

Having read now about a variety of ways leaders get an edge, are you going to do what you need to do to get an edge, too? What can you promise yourself now? It’s important for you to give thought now to what’s going to be different. Make an action plan. Make a change. Make a commitment.

And while you’re at it, support someone else along the way. You have it in you to not just be a great leader, but to create great leadership in others. You can be a model. You can teach what you know.

Stephen once told me, “The first job of leader is to inspire trust. The second job is to extend it.”

I hope that some of the leaders you’ve read about in this space have inspired you with their message, and I’m grateful that you put your trust in me to share it. Now how will you extend it to others?

Think about who you know that’s trying to achieve. It might be a student. A direct report. Your boss. The visionary leader of your company. Your kids. Your sister or a friend. Who needs to know what you know, and how can you share it?

And please, let me know if I can help. At www.TheInnerEdge.com, there are books, workbooks, eBooks, a thriving community of leaders, and coaching opportunities all designed for you. It’s our job to help you.

So you can get an edge.

 

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The 5 Ds

Do you have a stack?

You know the one. The stack of files waiting for your attention. The stack of messages. The stack of emails in your inbox.

How will you ever get through them you wonder? Never fear – You now have a solution. Allow me to introduce to you “The 5 Ds.”

I originally learned the 5 Ds come from business coach Kevin Lawrence, and they go like this:

1. Do It
2. Delete It
3. Delegate It
4. Decide on It
5. Date It

The “it” in this case is usually some small task or action item. Every time you have to get through a stack of email, a stack of paper, a stack of voice mail messages, or just stacks and stacks of work, The 5 Ds work especially well. You will drastically cut the time you need to get through the stack, and you can then get to the other high-impact activities that make the best use of your time.

Do It means do it now. Use this for any task that takes fifteen minutes or less.

Delete It means there are some things that do not require your response. Just because someone sent you the message/document/suggestion doesn’t mean you have to reply. If an item doesn’t advance a relationship or achieve an important goal, get rid of it.

Delegate It means pass it on to someone else who can handle the job. They don’t have to do it better than you; they don’t even have to do it as well or as fast. They probably won’t. But unless it’s a top priority or specific result that you and only you can deliver, you’re not the right person. Pass it on. Don’t abdicate the responsibility; you still need to be sure the task gets done. This is not a game of hot potato. It’s a way of reorganizing work so the right people do the appropriate jobs for maximum efficiency and results.

Decide On It means no more moving items from one stack to another, telling yourself, “I’ll get back to that.” Will you attend the meeting or won’t you? Will you agree to that request or won’t you? Make a decision. Move on.

Date It means you get to choose when you will give big-ticket items your undivided time and attention. Figure out how much time you need and block it out in your schedule. You can forget about it until then.

Exercise

Write a mini-version of the 5 Ds on a sticky note and put it near a stack of papers, projects, emails or administrative tasks. Set aside some time to tackle the tasks using the 5 Ds. Notice how the 5s cut down the time it takes to finish the tasks.

The ideas in this article are drawn from The Inner Edge: The 10 Practices of Personal Leadership and the accompanying eBook called The Extension. The eBook is designed to give you simple, engaging personal leadership exercises and activities to help you be a better leader, and lead a better life. Get your copy today! Click here for a Preview and to Order.

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Where is the Secret of Happiness Hidden?

There’s an ancient Hindu story about the gods arguing over where they should keep the secret of happiness. Afraid that humans didn’t deserve or couldn’t handle this secret, they debated where to hide it. At first they considered putting at the top of a high, high mountain, but reasoned that humans would eventually be able to find it. Likewise, they might find it in the darkest forests or at the bottom of the ocean. Finally, an idea struck one of the gods:

“I know the perfect place. We will hide the secret of happiness in the deepest depths of their own hearts. They will never bother to look there.”

The question, “What fulfills you and makes you happy?” is one of the central questions in the book, The Inner Edge: The 10 Practices of Personal Leadership. To learn more, go to www.TheInnerEdge.com. You’ll find an overview of the book, endorsements by such thought leaders as Marshall Goldsmith and Stephen Covey, and more.

It’s not easy to find the secret of happiness and fulfillment. But you have the ability to do it; the answer lies within you.

 

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Let Them Hit You

When you go looking for feedback, do you get feedback from the people who will give you the bad news?

Go ahead. Let them hit you.

Don’t worry – it’s not as bad as you think. Actually, one of the smartest things we can do is to ask for feedback from the people who don’t think all that much of us. The ones who are mad at us. Who are thorns in our side.

It’s not just because you’re going to get an enlightening perspective. (And oh, you will!) It’s also because the simple act of asking for feedback can improve the relationship.

Says Dave Norton, a senior vice president at The New York Times,

It’s so disarming. When you turn around and ask feedback from the people who wreck havoc in your world, it facilitates dialogue. It’s hard to be mad at someone who’s genuinely asking you for your opinion. Just the act of asking communicates trust.

When you go to look for feedback, ask yourself, who around me will give me the best feedback? Who will give me the worst? Who will give me a perspective I’ve probably never heard before?

Then go ask them. Easiest way: ask three questions.

  • What am I doing that’s working?
  • What am I doing that’s not working?
  • What one thing do you think I should work on to improve?

You may find those enemies were on your side all along.

Did you enjoy this profile? You may be interested in the eCourse, Getting an Edge: 21 Ways World Class Leaders Share Their Secrets for Leading and Living Well. Each of 21 profiles just like this one comes in a separate email – once a day for 21 days. Click here for more information.