Joelle K. Jay

Leadership Concepts

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FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!

Leah Zellner, the president of a national resort group, dashed into her office, throwing off her coat.

“I’m sorry I’m late!” she gasped. “It’s been a crazy day!”

For the next five minutes, she raced through a litany of concerns: leading her company as its first female president, finalizing a merger, launching a new global strategy, moving into a new office, speaking at a client conference, throwing her daughter a wedding, and expecting her first grandson.

“You certainly are busy!” I commented.

“You have no idea,” she wheezed. “Meetings, calls, invitations, a trip to New York…”

I watched Leah rush about her office. Here was a woman who seemed to have everything she wanted: a glamorous, high-paying job, exciting travel, and a happy growing family. But today everything that made up her charmed life seemed to be getting in the way.

I wondered, “Is this what our busy lives have come to? That our momentous life events have become items to check off a list?”

Leah flopped into the chair beside me. “You know, it used to be that it was Ready, Aim, Fire. Then it became Ready, Fire, Aim. Now it’s just FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!”

Leah’s life as a leader mirrors many I’ve seen in my years as an executive coach. Every day, I see talented, accomplished leaders struggling because they’re too stressed, too stretched, or too tired of sacrificing. As a result, many businesses are losing their leaders, and many leaders are losing themselves. It’s become a stubborn predicament: how to achieve success without sacrificing your quality of life.

There’s another way to be successful as a leader in today’s world that is more thoughtful. More strategic. More reflective. You can learn to lead in a way that preserves your talent while enhancing your quality of life. You can succeed without the sacrifice. Leading well and living well, both at the same time. In the pages of this book, you will discover a new way to be a better leader…and lead a better life.

Leah is one of many leaders I profile in the book, The Inner Edge: The 10 Practices of Personal Leadership. This book isn’t about leading your organization or leading your team. It’s about leading yourself.

To learn more, go to www.TheInnerEdge.com. You’ll find an overview of the book, endorsements by such thought leaders as Marshall Goldsmith and Stephen Covey, and more!

If you like what you read, join us in The Inner Edge Book Club! We’re starting a new year this month. To learn more, click here!

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Losing Your Edge

In a few hundred years, when the history of our time is written…the most important event historians will see is not technology, nor the Internet, not e-commerce. It is an unprecedented change in the human condition. For the first time – literally – substantial and rapidly growing numbers of people have choices. For the first time, they will have to manage themselves. And society is totally unprepared for it.

Peter Drucker

Do you think that’s true?

Is it true for you?

I spend a lot of time interviewing business leaders, and I’m often surprised at how disheartened they seem. Sometimes I wonder if this might be why: we have more to think about than ever, and somehow we have to be the ones to make it all work. When they feel disempowered, here’s what leaders tell me.

We are overwhelmed. Just juggling your workload fills every day; add in children, home ownership, personal finances, and the rest of your life, you can feel like you’re ready to collapse.

We are discouraged. Being a leader isn’t always all it’s made out to be. The pressure, the responsibility, and the poor models of leadership in corporate executives and public figures can sometimes make us wonder if it’s really worth it.

We are disengaged. Engagement is the degree to which you feel committed to your job, and it is a critical aspect of performance. Unfortunately, instead of gaining a sense of meaning from our work sometimes we just feel unmoved.

We are needed. As leaders we don’t always get what we need, but our businesses desperately need us. Nevertheless, we live in the Information Age, and business is driven by our knowledge. As leaders, we are needed to compete.

We are talented. The good news is that despite these challenges, it turns out we’re really talented. Years of Gallup research has proven that we are at our best when we are most ourselves and it’s clear there’s a lot more potential to be tapped.

We are leaving. Crowded by the pressures of modern leadership, we can’t seem to make it all work. That’s why so many leaders are responding in a quiet, decisive way: they’re taking their marbles and going home. With low set-up costs and instant access to global markets, we no longer need corporate infrastructure to fulfill our ambitions. We can do it on our own. We live in a free agent nation: going out on our own is flexible, it’s freeing, and it’s fun.

But having the opportunity to leave one’s job isn’t always the “win” it might seem. Businesses lose highly talented leaders, and leaders lose their home in the world of work.

What we need is a way for leaders to learn how to be better leaders while at the same time enhancing the quality of life that keeps them at their best. And we do. It’s called Personal Leadership – an aspect of leadership that honors the work leaders do as well as the people they are.

Are you practicing Personal Leadership? Take the quiz to find out! Go to www.TheInnerEdge.com and click on Worksheets and Audios (on the left). You’ll find a FREE Self-Assessment to help you understand where you already excel and where you need to put more attention to be effective in leading yourself.

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Leading on the Edge

As a leader, you have many great gifts. Your talents. Your opportunities. Your drive. What are you going to do with those gifts? How are you going to share them with the people around you and the rest of the world? To excel as a leader, it’s important to give some thought to these questions. Because the reality is that as a leader, the true gift you have to give…is you.

Sharing the Practices of Personal Leadership

Helen Keller:

“When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another.”

You have already discovered what’s possible for you when you’ve come to see yourself as a leader. Now it’s time to share the wealth. How will you give your gifts to the people you lead? How will you give to your organization and the world around you? How big can you can really be?

As you consider how to give of your gifts, you create more gifts for yourself, for others, and the world.

And your gifts are desperately needed.

When I wrote The Inner Edge, this “leadership crisis” was the news of the year. Stories in business journals as well as Time, Newsweek, 60 Minutes and Good Morning America all reported that accomplished, talented leaders were leaving their hard-won careers to find more meaningful ways to live. The people featured in these stories invariably described a choice between success and quality of life – and in many cases, it was one they didn’t want to make.

Our culture, our organizations, the times we live in – they have a way of conspiring against our efforts to be our best. But better business should not come at the expense of quality of life, and quality of life should not come at the expense of business results. Work and life should be able to co-exist, happily and successfully. They can and they have.

But every day, millions of people drive onto the fast-lane and race their lives away – ironically missing the fact that everything they are doing to try to improve their life is actually running them into the ground. The work weeks get longer, the stress levels rise, and talented leaders burn out or move on.

We need a whole new paradigm for work and life, and it starts with you. My dream is that the next evolution of our ambitious, achieving society will be to learn how to get the results we crave in the easiest, most natural way – the way that feeds us personally and enhances our quality of life. But no matter how great your life becomes, no matter how well your business does, you are holding back something even greater that the world urgently needs. Part of being a leader is sharing what you’ve learned and empowering others, as well.

Maybe you will be the person who plants the seeds of leadership in the mind of the next great world leader. Maybe you will be the one to help shift your organization into a healthier, more life-affirming place. Maybe you will initiate positive changes in the world that today you can’t even imagine.

People like you who see themselves as leaders aren’t just leaders in their jobs. They are leaders by definition, wherever they go. You will always be the one people look to for help and support. You will be the one who asks the questions, has the answers, or creates the opportunities for incredible things to happen. At home, at church, at work, among your friends, in your political party, when you’re with your kids, when you’re giving to charity, you will be seen as a leader.

What will you do with that potential?

It’s an honor and a privilege to be a leader – a real gift. What kind of a gift do you want to be?

In order to answer that question, you’ve got to lead on every level: your inner edge, your outer edge, and your leading edge. Then you’ll be truly leading on the edge.

For encouragement along the way, be sure to listen to the free coaching Audio, called A Parting Gift – available on the website at www.TheInnerEdge.com.

Please join us for The Inner Edge Book Club! This month we will be looking at the legacy you are leaving as a leader, and looking to the next level of leadership ahead for you. For more information, click here or email info@TheInnerEdge.com.

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The Sacred Trust

Over the course of this year, I have been releasing wisdom and insight from the leaders who participated in my research for The Inner Edge. I hope you’ve enjoyed the posts. (And if you’ve been following them, please let me know what you think!)

Cheryl Scott, the former CEO of Group Health and a senior advisor for the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, was featured in an earlier profile. But she is not just an inspirational leader. She was also one of my husband Tim’s early mentors. We’ll include her twice.

For our last example of how world-class leaders have to be to achieve their status, I just want you to hear how Cheryl thinks. I’ll leave you with a quote from which she finds inspiration, in hopes that it will inspire you, too.

If you get to be a leader, which is a sacred trust, you feel extraordinary gratitude. It changes you.

There’s this great quote that I love from Albert Schweitzer.

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”

How many people in their life get to have that?

Did you enjoy this profile? You may be interested in the eCourse, Getting an Edge: 21 Ways World Class Leaders Share Their Secrets for Leading and Living Well. Each of 21 profiles just like this one comes in a separate email – once a day for 21 days. Click here to sign up!

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The Universal Timeline

One way to find a life of ease is to get on the “universal timeline.”

The universal timeline is the schedule on which everything happens at just the right time, whatever that may be. There are no dates and deadlines. No time pressures. Just milestones. There is a right time for everything. You don’t need to force it.

Obviously, you won’t want to use this strategy when:

  • you have a hard and fast deadline,
  • you’re accountable to other people, or
  • other people are counting on you to stay on a certain schedule.

But when none of those are the case, you can learn to ease up and speed up at the very same time. That’s what the universal timeline does. It allows you to take advantage of just the right circumstances at just the right time to slip through your tasks with the most beneficial, advantageous timing.

Say, for example, you have a really big project to complete. Once you’ve glimpsed the possibility of completing this project, you’ll be chomping at the bit to get going. On the universal timeline, if the time is right you will get up off your chair and start now.

On the other hand, maybe now is not the time. Maybe your plate is full, your mind is distracted, or you just don’t have what you need to succeed. That’s okay, too. On the universal timeline, if the time isn’t right you don’t start. Instead, you make a note to do the project (“Start business development plan.” “Hire fitness trainer.” “Write memoir.”) and put it somewhere you will see it every day until the time is right.

Then wait. If you are patient and you maintain that priority, you will be walking along the universal timeline. When the time is right, you will know. Just as a big green sign appears on the edge of the highway telling you THIS IS YOUR EXIT, the “signs” will also arrive to tell you when the time is right to do this task. Either the phone will ring or the calendar will clear or the right person will say the right thing to jar you into action, and you’ll know. It’s time.

To get on the universal timeline, you give up expectations about how long things take to get done. You commit to doing them as fast as possible, but let go of how fast that has to be. Instead you wait for the perfect opportunity to act and take advantage of that perfect timing to let them happen in a snap.

The universal timeline isn’t about procrastination. You’re not putting off the things you want to do. You’re waiting for the conditions to be ideal. Certain activities require certain frames of mind, and you will get in those frames of mind naturally if you are patient. And you will be much, much more effective than you would be if you forced every project to take place on your own schedule.

What could you use the Universal Timeline for? Is there something you are hoping will happen but you don’t know when? Something you want to get to but somehow never do? Write it down, post it up, throw off the pressure of goals and deadlines, and trust that it will get done in its own time.

Exercise
Sometimes dates and deadlines are a requirement to getting things done. Sometimes they get in the way. Give some thought to how you could use the universal timeline using the Your Timeline worksheet in The Extension.

The ideas in this article are drawn from The Inner Edge: The 10 Practices of Personal Leadership and the accompanying eBook called The Extension. The eBook is designed to give you simple, engaging personal leadership exercises and activities to help you be a better leader, and lead a better life. Get your copy today! Click here for a Preview and to Order.

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Either Or Both And

Personal leadership is expansive thinking – learning to be more, do more, and achieve more by thinking in powerful ways. Pay attention to your usual thought patterns and change the ones that limit you or hold you back.

One easy way to practice is consider this: are you an either/or thinker or can you embrace both/and?

Either/Or

Either/or thinking means thinking in black and white.

  • Either I can make a difference or I can make money.
  • Either I can be relaxed or I can be accomplished.
  • Either I can be happy now, or I can be happy later.

Either/or thinking is an extremely restrictive, yet common, way of viewing the world.

We can box ourselves into a corner believing we can either have this or that, and we force ourselves to make a choice.

Not so. You can integrate the things you want to get them all at once.

Both/And

Both/and thinking means combining ideas for a more streamlined, synergistic approach. Just look at how a simple change in wording can shift your perspective.

Either/or: Either you can work a less crazy schedule or you can keep your job.
Both/and: You could both work a less crazy schedule and also keep your job.

Either/or: Either you can retire, or you can stay busy and active.
Both/and: You can both retire and also stay busy and active.

Either/or: Either she can exercise and rest, or you can fulfill your responsibilities.
Both/and: You could both exercise and rest and also fulfill your responsibilities.

Just reading these sentences, can you see how both/and thinking opens up the possibilities? By practicing both/and thinking, you’ll start to see different aspects of your life overlapping to get the real synergy going. Then the momentum will take on a life of its own.

How can you pull together the different parts of your life so you can both be a better leader and also lead a better life?

Fill in the blanks and ask yourself the Both/And questions on the worksheet (or online: www.theinneredge.com) in as many different ways as you can.

How can I both__________________________________ and also __________________________________________________?

To find more guidance on being an expansive thinker, visit www.TheInnerEdge.com and use the free worksheet called Your All.

Please join us for The Inner Edge Book Club! This month we will be practicing Both/And thinking for a more innovative approach to “having it all.” For more information, click here or email.

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The Virtual Vacation

Are your best ideas trapped in a too-busy brain? Good ideas need space, and they can’t get it in a crowded mind. You need time off from work to think clearly and be your best. There are lots of ways you can clear your mind, from a thirty-second meditation to a yoga class to a real vacation. No time for a vacation? Imagine this…

Stephen walked along the sunny path with his spaniel Sporty panting by his side, the two of them trotting along cheerfully downhill toward the lake. At last, free from the pressures of the office…free from the demands of the clients…free from the deadlines and the numbers…Stephen was finally on vacation. He parked himself on a rock at the edge of the beach and laid back to take in the view. Sitting in the sun in his shorts and hiking boots, he allowed his mind to empty completely.

Everything was still. Only nature’s sounds, a slight breeze, and an open mind. Peace.

Stephen breathed deeply and closed his eyes. He lay there, breathing, smiling, resting, he didn’t know how long. At ease. At peace. Alone. He dozed.

When his nap was over, he stretched long and grinned. What a feeling! And the best part was, he could come back here anytime he wanted. It was only a moment away.

Stephen opened his eyes, took his feet off his desk, and turned back to the computer. Just fifteen minutes of rest and an imagined trip to the mountains, and he felt completely renewed.

Do you need to get away? Whether it’s a fifteen minute vacation-in-your-office like Stephen’s or a real vacation for rest and restoration, a little time off can help you stop feeling like you’re a little off.

The Instant Escape

Meditation is an art form practiced around the world for finding inner quietude. It can reduce stress, calm your mind, and clear your thoughts wherever you are – walking, driving, or sitting right where you are. In its simplest form, the entire process is:

  • Close your eyes.
  • Breathe.
  • Clear your mind.

That’s it. Try it now. Breathe in deeply and slowly, breathe out deeply and slowly, feel your body relaxing, and gently release any thought that comes to mind. Close your eyes and try it for two more long, slow breaths. Notice the difference. You can meditate for just a few minutes, or keep practicing for longer and longer.

When you’re going top speed, slowing down in the middle of the day can sometimes seem like the hardest thing to do. But you carry within you the peace you need, and you can find it anytime. It’s just a breath away.

The Ten-Minute Escape

Stephen’s virtual vacation, as you saw above, is really just a form of meditation with a twist. As you do in meditation, close your eyes, breathe deeply, and release all thoughts. Then fill your mind with images, thoughts, or even music. If you’re worried about falling asleep, set an alarm and tell yourself that if you do fall asleep, you’ll awake feeling refreshed and energized.

The Hour-Long Escape

You can combine the techniques of meditation and imagination with exercise to really come away revived and restored. Yoga, walking, running, biking and swimming have a rhythmic solitude that are especially well suited to resting the mind, but you can also get away from stress and frustration with any kind of sport.

Of course, it doesn’t have to be exercise. A bath, a hot shower, an hour in the tub, some quiet time on the couch can all bring the rest you need if you’re able to detach from the pressure and stress.

Whatever you choose, be sure it engages your mind, either by helping you escape into a meditative state or getting you so involved in something else that you forget about work for awhile.

The Full Day Retreat

How often do you take a day off? Really off, not to get stuff done but to get reconnected with yourself? If you plan a day off for yourself, even that one day can feel like a vacation. Think of it as a retreat; you are retreating from the world of work for a day to clear your head and gather your energy. Then make sure that’s really what it is.

  • Be by yourself.
  • Go to the beach.
  • Get outdoors.
  • Get away.

If you really want to make the most of this retreat, turn it into a weekend. You’ll return with a new outlook on life.

The Working Vacation

If what you need isn’t a day off but a day in, with all the time you need to get stuff done, give yourself a working vacation, or as I call it, “A Vacation in Your Office.” You can also take a Vacation in your House. It’s when you take a day to hold all calls (or better yet, turn off the phone), take no visitors, answer no questions, pretend you’re on vacation and just blast through your To Do list. When you need to get to the bottom of those piles of paper, whittle down your To Do list, put away the holiday decorations, or just catch up on life, a working vacation can eliminate the tasks and the stress they cause.

A Real Vacation

One of my favorite Time Rules is one I’ll share with you: Always Have a Vacation in Sight. No matter where you work or what you do for a living, you get to take a vacation. The simple fact that vacations are a requirement of every legal working contract acknowledges the fact that as people, we need to get away. If we don’t, we cannot be our best. If you don’t, it’s no one’s fault but your own. Take a vacation. You’ve earned it.

If you’re honest with yourself, you have the time you need to rest your mind. The question is, are you taking it? All of the strategies in the previous chapter are meant to free up your time. When you maximize your time at work, you have more time for more productive work and more productive rest. It doesn’t take time; it takes commitment. Yours.

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The Good Enough Leader

As you go in the direction of your goals, let’s face it. You’re going to succeed. You already have. You always do. You are bright, you are skilled, you know what you want, and you’re going after it. You’re going to make your mark.

And as you go, there are two things I want you to remember.

The first one is that you are brilliant. Your talents, your skills, your character – there is no one in the world who has the same combination of attributes, expressed the same way, as you. The entire world will benefit when you bring all of yourself to your aspirations. You can have every expectation to succeed.

The second is that that’s good enough. Listen to the advice of Randy Brown, the Executive Vice President and Chief HR Officer at WellPoint:

“Give yourself a break. Give others a break. Keep things in perspective. We’re aiming for results, not going over the edge. Stay focused on excellence rather than perfection.”

You don’t need all the stress and striving of trying to be perfect. You already are. You are the perfect leader right now for what you’re trying to achieve.

Now let the rest of the world know.

Did you enjoy this profile? You may be interested in the eCourse, Getting an Edge: 21 Ways World Class Leaders Share Their Secrets for Leading and Living Well. Each of 21 profiles just like this one comes in a separate email – once a day for 21 days. Click here to subscribe.

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See the Miracles!

I was sitting talking to Michael Gerber one morning, who for decades has been the go-to expert for business owners through his work with E-Myth Worldwide. We were talking about personal leadership and the thrill of witnessing the moments when leaders experience their big breakthroughs.

I thought of my client, Belinda Keaganm,* who was promoted every year for five years before finally becoming the CEO of a large financial institution.

I thought of my client, Ari Chellis, who stopped being a “do-er,” started being a strategist, and earned himself the title of Chief of Staff of the chairman of an international organization.

I thought of my client, Caroline, the President and General Manager of a leading software company, who through faith and humor beat cancer not once, but twice.

As Michael and I celebrated their accomplishments, we talked about what it takes to be able to see the possibilities – to know and trust that the visions we have for our lives and our leadership can come to us even if we don’t know how to create them. It’s not luck. It’s openness. It’s willingness. It’s faith.

You can teach yourself to see the miracles that lead to breakthrough, the miracles that give you an edge. You can’t create those moments, but they’re there. As I wrote in the book The Inner Edge: The 10 Practices of Personal Leadership, Eureka moments, aha’s, epiphanies—they’re not scrunched into our in-boxes. We can’t force them to show up by working harder. Flashes of insight occur when we are relaxed, open, and alert.

Are you open to the possibilities before you? Most people aren’t, as Michael observed. In a lull in our conversation, he took a deep breath and sighed.

“Most people don’t see the miracles.”

*Clients’ names have been changed by request.

Did you enjoy this profile? You may be interested in the eCourse, Getting an Edge: 21 Ways World Class Leaders Share Their Secrets for Leading and Living Well. Each of 21 profiles just like this one comes in a separate email – once a day for 21 days. Click here for more information.

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Meet Executive Coach Lao Tzu

When you look to expand your potential as a leader, what experts come to mind? Marshall Goldsmith, maybe? Jim Collins? Jim Kouzes? These are some of my heroes – mentors, even – and their books line my shelves.

While I am routinely recommending Marshall’s “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There”, Jim’s “Good to Great”, and Kouzes and Posner’s “The Leadership Challenge”, I have to confess that my biggest shifts have come from someplace else: the wisdom texts.

Wisdom texts are those masterpieces of insight so powerful as to be almost spiritual. You don’t find them in the business section of the library. They come from places like

  • Literature
  • Poetry
  • History
  • Song
  • Religion
  • Philosophy
  • Mythology

I love May Sarton. Rumi. Marge Piercy. Siddhartha. The Tao Te Ching. The Prophet.

And if all of that’s too deep for you, I have clients who find their inspiration in much lighter places! The cartoon Dillard, the rock band Train, and that original executive coach, Jiminy Cricket.

When we read too many books on business and leadership, we fill our heads with what other people think. That’s good – it stretches our minds. Opens us to new ideas. Fine.

Reading outside business and leadership, though, can expand your horizons far further. As Dave Olsen, the Senior Vice President of Culture and Leadership Development at Starbucks says, “Don’t just read the stuff in airport bookstores. Read Lao Tzu.”

A line of poetry can cause you to think in ways you never have before – perhaps thoughts no one else has thought. Mythical stories can encourage creative thinking about how ancient lessons can help unsnarl us from our problems today.

Just for fun, let’s give it a shot. I am including a poem that I love, called “You Reading This, Be Ready,” by William Stafford. As you read this poem, don’t try to figure out the “meaning,” and don’t worry about whether or not you “like” poetry. Just read it. Then ask yourself…are you ready? And what are you ready for?

You Reading This, Be Ready

By William Stafford

Starting here, what do you want to remember?
How sunlight creeps along a shining floor?
What scent of old wood hovers, what softened
sound from outside fills the air?

Will you ever bring a better gift for the world
than the breathing respect that you carry
wherever you go right now? Are you waiting
for time to show you some better thoughts?

When you turn around, starting here, lift this
new glimpse that you found; carry into evening
all that you want from this day. This interval you spent
reading or hearing this, keep it for life—

What can anyone give you greater than now,
starting here, right in this room, when you turn around?

Did you enjoy this profile? You may be interested in the eCourse, Getting an Edge: 21 Ways World Class Leaders Share Their Secrets for Leading and Living Well. Each of 21 profiles just like this one comes in a separate email – once a day for 21 days.